Snowball

He's been training his whole life to compete in the olympics.

Puddles

He loves to ponder about his place in the universe.

Spot

He like women.

Pickles

Swimming along. Singing a song. Placing pickles on the sea floor all day long.

Bingus

Your corpse will soon be his.

Winston

HE HAS BEEN ENLIGHTENED!! HE IS THE CHOSEN ONE!!

Whiskers

HE WORKS HARD! EVERY DAY! I TRY AND I TRY AND I TRY!!!! BUT EVERYBODY WANTS TO PUT ME DOWN. THEY SAY I'M GOING CRAZY! THEY SAY I GOT A LOTTA WATER IN MAH BRAIN!!! I GOT NO COMMON SENSE. HE'S GOT NOBODY LEFT TO BELIEVE!!! YEAH!! YEAH!! YEAH!! YEAH!!

Tater Tot

He broke his arms boxing.

He won.

Butch

He's grumpy that he didn't get an 11th chicken nugget.

Judy

Suffers from chronic narcolepsy. (As most cats do tbh)